Truth and Hammer

Category: Conversation Starters

  • Parenting Advice: Don’t Kill Them

    Parenting Advice: Don’t Kill Them

    Having had kids before most of my friends, I’ve now reached the stage in life when many in my circle are coming to me for parenting advice.
    “Your boys are so fun, so precocious, so well-mannered. What’s your secret?” they ask.
    “Don’t kill them.” I answer.
    People always chuckle when I give that advice. “No really,” they say. “Really,” I reaffirm, “Don’t kill them. You’ll want to, but don’t.” They stop giggling and never ask me for parenting advice again.
    But I stand by this advice. Don’t kill them. You’ll want to, but don’t. We like to pretend that outside of some adorable sleepless nights right after they are born, that parenting is a magical gift full of love and joy. And sometimes it is. Sometimes your heart is full of such inexplicable love that you feel like it might burst. You know that you would die for your children, and you would die if anything ever happened to them. You can’t imagine your life without them.
    But there are other times.
    We try to pretend that other times don’t exist. We try to pretend that good parents (especially mothers) enjoy every minute of parenthood. This, I firmly believe, is a misogynistic tool used to oppress women. This is to keep them from questioning the unequal burden that motherhood places on them. This is to keep them from asking for more. This is to keep them quiet. And it’s dangerous. It’s dangerous and invalidating and oppressing. You have this baby and it’s not at all what everyone told you. You don’t know what to do with feelings of anger and frustration. You are a bad mother, you know this because you are the only mother feeling this way. You have nobody to talk to, nobody who can help. What would otherwise have been a fleeting moment of frustration turns into an indictment on your fitness as a mother. It prevents you from appreciating the good times. “You don’t deserve to enjoy this,” you think, “You are a bad mother.”
    Becoming a mother is one of the best things that can happen to you and it’s one of the worst things that can happen to you. So for to-be parents and new parents who want some real advice, here’s mine:
    The first year of parenting is the hardest year of your life. It is hell. If you get out of it with your wits somewhat intact and have not killed your spouse, partner, or some random stranger on the street, you deserve all the awards.
    There will be nights where you are so tired that your legs are shaking. You are holding the world’s worst baby who is only quiet when you are pacing the floor and screams the moment you put him down. You will feel a rage building inside of you that is hotter than any rage you have ever felt in your life. “I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY ME” your brain will scream. This is when you need to put the baby down for a minute, even if he’s screaming. You need to brace your arms and think “Don’t shake him. Don’t throw him.” and put him in the crib much more gently than he deserves. Walk out of the room. If necessary, walk out of the house. Just for a few moments, just until you can breathe again.
    There will be times where your child smiles at you and leans in for a kiss and as you look at his nose crusted over with greenish snot and a line of drool drips down from his lip you think, “oh god, you are a filthy creature.” And it’s true, he is a filthy creature. Stifle your gag reflex, wipe his nose, and give him a quick kiss.
    As he gets older, there will be times where just trying to get him to take a bite of his fucking food will be a battle. You will want to pry his mouth open with one hand, and shove the food down his throat with the other. Don’t do this.
    There will be times when he is kicking and screaming on the floor because you dared to take a fork out of his hand before he stabbed himself in the eye. You will want to grab him by the arms, place him outside, and lock the door. Don’t do this.
    There will be times where you can hear him upstairs yelling, “I’M NOT GOING NAP! NO NAP!” while throwing toys down the stairs. Don’t go up there. Call your mom or a friend. Explain that they either need to keep you on the phone or call CPS. Make them tell you some jokes.
    There will be times during potty-training when you are positive that your child is purposefully waiting until you are in public to shit his pants. Do not accuse your child of sabotage. Do not ask why he’s trying to destroy you; he doesn’t know. Get him home, hose him down, and have a drink.
    There will be days where you will find yourself amazed that you have made it through the day without actually giving your child away to the nearest stranger, no matter how clear he’s made it that he hates you and wants to destroy your happiness. You deserve an award for this. There isn’t one, but just know that you do deserve it.
    There will be times where he tells you a story that has no plot, no characters, and seemingly no end. Stifle the urge to scream, “THIS IS THE MOST BORING FUCKING STORY I’VE EVER HEARD” and instead mutter, “Oh really?” while you plan your grocery list or child-free vacation.
    There will be times where you want to throw Candyland into the fire while yelling, “THIS GAME HAS NO FUCKING POINT.” If you do this, just be sure the kid isn’t around so you won’t have to explain why it went missing.
    There will be times where you just want to be able to take a shit without little hands banging on the door asking, “What are you doing?” Don’t scream, “Jesus Christ, I’m taking a shit.” Instead say, “hey, where did your bear go?” and they will go off to find their bear. It doesn’t even matter if they have a bear.
    Around 5 or 6 your child will start to tell “jokes.” These are the worst jokes in the world. They will make no goddamn sense. You won’t even know they are jokes half the time. Just say the jokes are funny and fake a tiny laugh. They aren’t funny, but he has plenty of time to find that out later.
    There will be a few really good years where your child is less of an asshole, and becomes self-sufficient enough to play by himself for a little while without destroying your house. Cherish these times. Because he becomes a teenager next.
    Around 12 or 13 he will start to smell. Not figuratively, literally. He will smell like he’s made of rotting oranges and hormones. You will wonder if he has an endocrine imbalance. You will have to roll the windows down when driving. You’ll wonder if you can just melt 100 bars of deodorant and then dip him in it. You’ll want to burn his shirts and his underwear instead of washing them. Don’t ask your kid why on earth he can’t tell that he smells like a rotting corpse. That part of his brain hasn’t developed yet. Keep extra deodorant in your purse and in your glove compartment.
    None of his emotions at this age will make sense. You don’t know why he’s sad. His friend drama is absolutely ridiculous. His arguments will lack any logic. Don’t yell, “your opinions are invalid because they don’t make any fucking sense” no matter how badly you want to. They don’t make sense to him either. But they’re real to him. Remember, he’s about 90% hormones right now.
    Around this age he’ll discover sarcasm. He’ll roll his eyes at you like it’s his job. Do not slap him, and boy you will want to. Instead explain that each eye roll equals an extra chore he has to do.
    He’ll find the sappiest, most poorly written song of teenage angst and he will play it every minute of every day. He will sing along in a cracking voice filled with unnecessary amounts of emotion. Don’t tell him that his taste in music sucks. Instead, record a few seconds so that when he’s 25 and aghast that you don’t know who the latest art-rock band is you can play this back to him and remind him that his taste in music is not to be trusted.
    All of these things and more will happen. Getting through them without drop-kicking your child across the living room is the biggest challenge of parenthood. You deserve an award for not evicting what is surely the world’s worst houseguest. Acknowledge that, and instead of beating yourself up for feeling the way anybody would feel if a fellow human had just literally shit all over them, pat yourself on the back. And enjoy every smile, every laugh, every hug, and every bit of love with the full knowledge that you deserve it.

     

    This content was originally published here.

     

  • NASA Probe Finds Star Trek Logo On The Surface Of Mars

    NASA Probe Finds Star Trek Logo On The Surface Of Mars

    A strange image was spotted on the surface of Mars by NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO), and some people think that it looks like the “Star Trek” Starfleet logo.

    The image was captured in the southeast Hellas Planitia region on the surface of Mars.

    The team that first discovered the region says that many similar shapes on the planet are caused by the wind or lava changing the form of dunes.

    Caption Spotlight (12 Jun 2019): Dune Footprints in Hellas

    Enterprising viewers will make the discovery that these features look conspicuously like a famous logo.

    NASA/JPL/University of Arizona#Mars #science pic.twitter.com/N5MfKQPiYt

    — HiRISE (NASA) (@HiRISE) June 12, 2019

    In a press release, the scientists explained:

    “Long ago, there were large crescent-shaped (barchan) dunes that moved across this area, and at some point, there was an eruption. The lava flowed out over the plain and around the dunes, but not over them. The lava solidified, but these dunes still stuck up like islands. However, they were still just dunes, and the wind continued to blow. Eventually, the sand piles that were the dunes migrated away, leaving these “footprints” in the lava plain. These are also called “dune casts” and record the presence of dunes that were surrounded by lava.”

    star trek

    Photo Credit: Sky News

    The MRO has been exploring Mars from orbit since 2006, capturing some of the most detailed images that researchers have of the planet’s surface. The device takes roughly 50,000 pictures of the Martian surface a year.

    The actual goal of these missions is to search for water on the red planet.

    This is not the first time that people have claimed to see a strange image in a photograph of the surface of Mars.

    The most iconic photograph taken of the surface of Mars is the “face” seen below:

    mars

    Photo Credit: NASA

    The photo of the infamous face was taken by the NASA’s Viking spacecraft in 1976. The size of the head was apparently enormous, some researchers suggest that the rock was two miles from end to end. The photos were snapped in a region of Mars known as Cydonia.

    Jim Garvin, the chief scientist for NASA’s Mars Exploration Program, said that it was an important image to capture.

     “We felt this was important to taxpayers. We photographed the Face as soon as we could get a good shot at it,” Jim Gavin.

    According to NASA, “on April 5, 1998, when Mars Global Surveyor flew over Cydonia for the first time, Michael Malin and his Mars Orbiter Camera (MOC) team snapped a picture ten times sharper than the original Viking photos. Thousands of anxious web surfers were waiting when the image first appeared on a JPL web site, revealing … a natural landform. There was no alien monument after all.”

    probe

    The Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has been exploring the red planet since 2006. Photo Credit: Sky News

    While Star Trek fans and curiosity seekers may find this exciting, the similarities in the design and the shapes on the planet are purely a coincidence, same goes with the face as well. In fact, a second shape similar to the Star Trek logo was seen on the planet shortly after the first one, showing that the wind can commonly cause these shapes in the dust.

    Express reported that “The NASA Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter is searching for evidence that water persisted on the Red Planet’s surface. While other Mars missions indicated water once flowed across its now barren surface, it remains a mystery whether H2O was ever around long enough to provide a habitat for alien life. But NASA’s probe has now spotted something totally unexpected from above – an mysterious Star Trek logo marking on Mars. NASA’s orbiting craft has now captured another image of a strange chevron on the Martian surface eerily resembling the Star Trek Starfleet symbol.”

    NASA administrator, Jim Bridenstine, recently warned an audience at the International Academy of Astronautics’ Planetary Defense Conference, about the very real possibility of a large meteor crashing into the earth.

    Bridenstine reference a large meteor that entered the earth’s atmosphere and exploded over Chelyabinsk, in central Russia, in February of 2013. The meteor measured roughly 20 meters in diameter and was traveling at 40,000 mph.

    This content was originally published here.

  • Missing for 6 Days Praises Jesus After Longshot Rescue

    Missing for 6 Days Praises Jesus After Longshot Rescue

    A hiker who almost died after he went missing for six days in the perils of the Arkansas wilderness is thanking Jesus for leading search-and-rescue teams to save him. Joshua McClatchy, 38, had planned a solo hike in the Caney Creek Wilderness in Mena, Arkansas, to celebrate his birthday, ABC News reported. He went missing on June 1 after he managed to send a text message to his mother in spotty cellphone coverage, saying he needed help. During the search, rescuers braved treacherous landscapes that included thick treetops and steep mountains as well as the threat of deadly wildlife such as copperhead snakes, cottonmouth snakes, rattlesnakes, and bears, said Polk County Sheriff Scott Sawyer. McClatchy was finally found June 7 about four miles off Buckeye Trail after nearly a week of no contact when crews found a window of good weather to operate a National Guard helicopter equipped with infrared technology to locate him, Sawyer said.

    He told EMS as he was being loaded onto an ambulance that he never thought he’d see anyone ever again. The hiker was in good shape but was severely dehydrated. The first thing he requested was water, he told WFAA. He had protein bars and bottled water when he set off on the hike, but it is unclear how much he consumed before he went missing, his family said. He also had a filter straw that could help him drink potentially unclean water. “It was so refreshing,” McClatchy said of his first sips of water. He was given an IV before the four-hour trek back to civilization aboard a rescue cart, which made him “feel considerably better,” he said.

    source

  • I’m a better mother because I only have one child

    I’m a better mother because I only have one child

    Before I decided that my only child would be my last, I agonized for years over what my family and friends would think of me. Would they call me selfish or uncaring for not giving my kid a sibling, a so-called “built-in friend for life”? The reason I decided not to have a second child is simply because, from a mental health perspective, I needed to be able to survive.

    When I was diagnosed with endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome in my 20s, my doctors said I might never be able to conceive. But against all odds, I got pregnant after just five months of trying. My partner and I were thrilled at the news, but almost immediately, my natural, low-level anxiety amped up into something I didn’t recognize. At a subsequent appointment with my OB/GYN, I confessed that my anxious feelings were getting out of control and taking over my life. I told her about how I would regularly sit on the edge of the bathtub at home, sobbing and worrying over what could go wrong with the pregnancy. I was terrified that I would lose the baby.

    She immediately referred me to a hospital clinic that specialized in reproductive transitions and, eventually, I saw a psychiatrist. Looking back now, I should have realized that I was at risk for a mood disorder during pregnancy. I had my first instance of clinical depression as a teen, and several episodes afterwards. I’d taken antidepressants on and off for years. And whenever life threw me a curveball, I automatically turned to therapists. My new psychiatrist explained that I was more likely to suffer from postpartum depression because of my mental health history.

    “I was done”

    When my daughter came into the world five and a half years ago, I had brief moments of new-mother bliss before the darkness descended and the postpartum depression and anxiety quietly set in. Suddenly, I couldn’t cope, and I didn’t recognize myself. When I eventually got help and started taking medication, my mood slowly improved, but I remember thinking to myself in the months and years to come: How can I ever do this to myself again?

    Around the one-year mark, it seemed like all my friends were already thinking about having a second baby. It was as if they had miraculously emerged from the mental fog and physical exhaustion of new parenthood and were eager to try for another child. Did they have amnesia? How could they be so keen to go back to the sleep deprivation and constant breastfeeding all over again so soon? It baffled me and, in my darkest moments, it seemed like they were just asking for more misery.

    Pregnant women in a blue body con dress holding her belly by a sheer-curtain window. I had postpartum depression and swore I’d never have more kids. Now I’m pregnantI had conflicted feelings about having a second child, and my husband was happy with one. Part of me felt like I was abnormal to think about putting my mental health first and that I should put the needs of my daughter before my own. But how could I be the mother she deserved when I was already struggling with just one?

    Turns out, I couldn’t do it. After a lot of therapy sessions and tough conversations with my husband, I finally admitted the secret truth festering in my heart: Although, in theory, I wanted another child—someone for my daughter to grow up with, someone I could lavish more of my motherly love on—from an emotional well-being perspective, I was done having children. The choice was between keeping my mental health stable and having a bonus child, just for the sake of it.

    Having one child means that my husband and I don’t have to divide and conquer, like many other parents with multiple children do. We don’t each have to take a kid when they have sibling squabbles. We can also arrange date nights more easily and sleepovers with both sets of grandparents, where one of us takes our daughter and stays over there to give the other spouse the house to themselves.

    We couldn’t do this with a new baby. I would inevitably be left alone with a newborn for extended periods of time, and this would be slightly traumatic for me. I didn’t want to go through the emotional purgatory of postpartum depression and anxiety again, not to mention the physical exhaustion and monotony. Having my husband around to support me is crucial to not only my physical health but also my mental well-being, and if he was out of the house or in another room entertaining my daughter, I know it would also take a huge emotional toll on me.

    Letting go of those dreams

    “It can be hard to let go of past wishes for a larger family, but a second or third child comes with many added demands and stressors,” explains Cara Brown, a psychiatrist at the Women’s Mood and Anxiety Clinic, Reproductive Transitions, at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre. “Any woman with a mental health history who is thinking of having another child needs to consider many factors, including her current mental health stability, the severity of her illness, her coping abilities at work and home, her parenting and function with her current child, the mental health of her partner, her needs for psychotherapy and medications and the intensity of the needs of her current children.”

    Deep down, I knew the chances of me being able to manage my mental health would decrease dramatically if I welcomed another child into the world. I just couldn’t see myself managing two kids’ schedules or being outnumbered if they had meltdowns at the same time. I knew I would panic and feel overwhelmed and end up just wanting to hide. The truth was disheartening on a primal level, but I had to face reality and accept my limitations. Besides, I knew I’d rather be a present, loving mother to one child than an unwell parent who couldn’t handle raising multiple children.

    Postpartum risks

    Brown states that after one episode of postpartum depression, the risk of recurrence is estimated to be up to 50 percent, possibly higher if a woman continues to be symptomatic or had severe illness.

    “For some women, examining these factors and weighing the benefits and risks will lead her to decide to have one child or a smaller family, even if this wasn’t what she imagined previously,” she says. “This is a very valid decision. It’s important to make an informed choice and not just have another child because it’s expected by society or your extended family or culture. Sometimes it’s also necessary to set boundaries and ask well-intentioned family members to stop inquiring about this very personal matter.”

    After I gave birth, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is severe depression, anxiety and irritability that surfaces seven to 10 days before your period. I felt completely overwhelmed. And just last year, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, which was another shock because I didn’t know it could show up in your 40s. Brown says that comorbidity among conditions is common and often sees these conditions present together.For me, it’s a trifecta of mental health challenges that I sometimes struggle to handle. And I’m not going to lie: I get by fine most of the time, but there are definitely some days when motherhood and my mental illnesses inevitably collide.

    That’s when I hide in my room, lie in the dark and feel too agitated to deal with the normal ups and downs of parenthood, like my daughter spilling milk all over the floor or not getting dressed after being asked 10 times. These aren’t major problems, but when I’m not feeling well mentally, they can be the last straw to my self-control. But I don’t want to be like this or miss out on my daughter’s childhood. I want to be calm and in the moment, not constantly looking to escape through my phone. I want to soak up the joy of motherhood and navigate through all its stages with the confidence that I can do this because I’m also taking care of myself.

    Liza Weiser, a psychologist based in Thornhill, Ontario, agrees. “A woman isn’t a failure for deciding not to have any more children,” she says. “Raising one child doesn’t mean that all your difficulties disappear. It’s just that your ability to deal with them and recognize your limits improves. A mother with mental health challenges will probably still struggle to some extent, but having just one kid means that she is better able to take care of herself when there are fewer household and family demands.”

    The happiness equation

    There is some pretty convincing research that supports stopping at one child for your mental health. Hans-Peter Kohler, a sociology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, discovered that second and third children don’t necessarily increase parents’ happiness. He studied 35,000 adult identical twins in Denmark and concluded that having more children actually makes mothers less happy.

    Recent research from Australia also reveals that having a second child worsens parents’ mental health. The study followed approximately 20,000 Australians for up to 16 years. The results showed that second and third children increase the demands of the parents’ role and double the time pressure for parents (especially for mothers). Interestingly, researchers also found that, while a mother’s mental health improves with the birth of her first child, it declines sharply and remains low after the second child arrives.

    Photo: Courtesy of Tara Mandarano

    Being a better mom

    These days, I go to therapy twice a month and see a psychiatrist, who is able to prescribe medication to balance my moods and dampen my tendency toward anxiety. I am open with my daughter about my mental health and try to explain it to her in a kid-friendly way. We talk about my “feelings doctor” and why going to see her makes her mama feel better.

    I’ve also discovered there are many psychological perks to being a parent to an only child. My husband and I can tag-team and take breaks when situations with our daughter get overwhelming. I can also practise self-care more often because I have someone to look after her when I need time to myself. Sometimes it’s something simple, like being able to catch up on reading on the couch while my husband gives our daughter a bath and gets her ready for bed. Even though I can hear all the noise and chaos going on upstairs, I’m detached from it, in my own little bubble for a while. When I have a particularly tough day, this act of kindness is a lifesaver for my emotional sanity. Over the past five years, I’ve learned that prioritizing my own mental health makes me a better mother and improves my relationship with my daughter.

    “Maternal mental health is of utmost importance for childhood attachment and development,” says Brown. “If a mother decides not to have another child because she feels like she will be more mentally well parenting one child, then that is the best decision for her and her family. Yet, making this choice can be very difficult for some women. It’s not uncommon for a woman to experience feelings of loss when she lets go of past expectations she had for her family.”

    The decision to be a one-child family didn’t really hit home for me until I elected to have a hysterectomy last year due to ongoing pelvic pain. Once nearly all my reproductive parts (bar one ovary) were gone, there was no possibility of changing my mind or going back in time. But I’ve finally come to a place of peace and acceptance about being “one and done.” I don’t need a certain number of children to “complete” our family. And I’m still a real mother, even if I only raise one child. Having another kid would have been an emotional disaster for me, and I would have been in way over my head. I’m grateful that my daughter now has a healthy, happy and loving mother instead.

    Read more:
    How to deal with postpartum anxiety
    Parenting through severe postpartum depression

    The post I’m a better mother because I only have one child appeared first on Today’s Parent.

    This content was originally published here.

  • ‘Baywatch’ Actress Kelly Rohrbach Marries Walmart Heir Steuart Walton | TMZ.com

    ‘Baywatch’ Actress Kelly Rohrbach Marries Walmart Heir Steuart Walton | TMZ.com

    You can call Kelly Rohrbach Mrs. Baewatch now … although she’d probably prefer Mrs. Walton, because TMZ has learned she’s married into the freakin’ Walmart fortune!!!

    Some would say Steuart Walton is the one who hit the jackpot when he and the “Baywatch” actress tied the knot. Our sources say they did the deed down in Florida a couple of weeks ago.

    They’ve settled into married life well, apparently — we’re told they were spotted at a friend’s wedding recently … and both were sporting wedding bands.  

    Back in March, the happy couple was spotted grabbing coffee and she seemed ecstatic. The massive engagement diamond weighing down Kelly’s hand probably didn’t hurt her mood.

    Steuart and Kelly started dating about 2 years ago. Both attended Georgetown — she went for undergrad, and he went to the law school.

    His grandfather, Sam Walton, opened the first Walmart in 1962, and the fam’s net worth was about $163 BILLION in 2017 … when Bloomberg’s Index named them America’s richest family.

    Kelly — who used to date Leonardo DiCaprio and once went on a date with Packers QB Aaron Rodgers — was Rookie of the Year in 2015 for SI’s Swimsuit Edition.

    Yeah, this one’s a win-win, for sure. Congrats to the newlyweds!!!

    This content was originally published here.

  • Dude Who Married His Best Mate’s Mum Just To Piss Him Off Has Filed For Divorce – Sick Chirpse

    Dude Who Married His Best Mate’s Mum Just To Piss Him Off Has Filed For Divorce – Sick Chirpse

    A YouTuber who married his best friend’s mum just to troll him has filed for divorce just one month after tying the knot.

    Featured Image VIA

    22-year-old David Dobrik married his buddy Jason Nash’s mum Lorraine last month and broke the news to his mate and the world on Instagram:

    A post shared by DAVID DOBRIK (@daviddobrik) on

    He continued to troll Jason on Twitter:

    My friend told me I would never find love and get married. So I flew to his moms house and married her on the spot. Now that same friend is my stepson. True love always wins pic.twitter.com/OQ3p0ONGkV

    — DAVID DOBRIK (@DavidDobrik) May 18, 2019

    He was relentless in sharing photos and videos online:

    In all the history of pranks and trolls we’ve covered on this site I honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone taking a prank to this level. I mean it’s one thing to blackmail your pal over an embarrassing photo or secret, or to cover them in peanut butter when they have a severe peanut allergy, but to actually fly your buddy’s mum to Vegas and marry her? There’s really no comeback for that.

    The only question that remains is did David fuck Jason’s mum? You would have to assume so. OK she might be way older than him but if he was really trying to take the troll to the max, you have to think he shagged her on their wedding night at least.

    Still, it’s not as weird as the YouTuber who snogged his own sister on camera. Yikes.

    This content was originally published here.

  • Unmarried single man who thought foster agencies would turn him away adopts FIFTH disabled child | Daily Mail Online

    Unmarried single man who thought foster agencies would turn him away adopts FIFTH disabled child | Daily Mail Online

    A single dad is looking forward to a very special Father’s Day this year after adopting his fifth disabled child.

    Ben Carpenter, 35, from Shepley, West Yorkshire, who is dubbed a ‘super dad’ by his friends and family, initially only wanted to adopt one child when he was 21-years-old.

    But ten years on, Mr Carpenter has just become a dad-of-five after finalising the adoption of his son Noah – who has a genetic condition known as Cornelia de Lange syndrome – and does not write off adopting more.

    Ben Carpenter (pictured with Ruby, Joseph, Noah, Jack and Lily) 35, from Shepley, West Yorkshire, who is dubbed a ‘super dad’ by his friends and family, initially only wanted to adopt one child when he was 21-years-old

    Mr Carpenter has just become a dad-of-five after adopting Noah (pictured) – who has a genetic condition known as Cornelia de Lange syndrome

    With a range of disabilities, his children, Jack, 11, Ruby, eight, Lily, six, Joseph, three, and Noah, one, all have complex needs, from Autism to Pierre Robin syndrome.

    The full time dad, said: ‘Even at the age of 21 I knew I wanted to be a father as soon as possible – I may have only been young but I’ve always had an old head on my shoulders.

    ‘I was convinced with me being single as well that they wouldn’t take me seriously – but I was over the moon when they did.

    ‘Due to previously working with disabled adults and children, I knew it was only right for me to adopt a disabled child because I knew I’d be able to care for them properly.

    ‘I originally saw an advertisement from local adoption social services looking for adoptive parents; and I thought, well, they’re not going to want me as a single guy.

    With a range of disabilities, his children, Jack (pictured), 11, Ruby (pictured), eight, Lily , six, Joseph, three, and Noah, one, all have complex needs, from Autism to Pierre Robin syndrome

    ‘But I told them who I was and where I worked and they were really positive and quite enthusiastic about me adopting a child.

    ‘Nine years on, I have five children and I wouldn’t change a thing.’

    Jack has autism, Ruby has Pierre Robin syndrome and limited use of her arms because of missing bones, Lily is deaf and Joseph has Down Syndrome.

    But Mr Carpenter has not ruled out adopting again. The full time dad, said: ‘Even at the age of 21 I knew I wanted to be a father as soon as possible – I may have only been young but I’ve always had an old head on my shoulders’. Pictured: jack (left) and Joseph (right)

    Is being single and adopting normal?

    Single people have been able to adopt from the earliest days of adoption and over the years many single people have successfully done so.

    Around 10 per cent of children, 420 in total, adopted between 2012 and 2013 went to single adopters.

    The parent should not be discriminated against just because they are single, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.

    It also has the benefit of not having to negotiate with a partner, so the parent can do their best for the child the way they want to.

    Source: First 4 Adoption

    Noah’s rare syndrome and severe birth defects affect both his arms and legs but Mr Carpenter says since becoming part of the family it’s like he’s ‘always been there’.

    He said: ‘Noah is great and has fit in to our family just perfectly and, to be honest, it’s like always been there!

    ‘His new brothers and sisters are great with him, Lily in particular is extremely maternal and helps me feed Noah and things.’

    The full time dad was never bothered about having biological children as he says adopting is just as good.

    He added: ‘I’ve never wanted biological children because there’s much, much more than just being biologically linked to a child.

    ‘My children are my children – for example they have the same mannerisms as me.

    ‘Yes, they might not have the same blood as me, but who cares!’

    Whilst Mr Carpenter is happy with brood – he hasn’t completely written off adopting more children.

    He said: ‘I don’t currently plan on adopting more children but I’m one of these people who never says never.

    Mr Carpenter (receiving his father’s Day card) added: ‘I definitely see myself fostering more children though – I just love being a dad’

    ‘If in the future a child really needed me and my help, I’m sure I would end up adopting them.

    ‘I definitely see myself fostering more children though – I just love being a dad.’

    Mr Carpenter explained how he instantly ‘fell in love’ with Noah when he first saw him and knew he needed to join his family.

    Jack has autism, Ruby (left) has Pierre Robin syndrome and limited use of her arms because of missing bones, Lily (right) is deaf and Joseph has Down Syndrome

    The dad-of-five said: ‘I was flicking through an adoption magazine that comes from monthly featuring children who are deemed as ‘hard to place’ children, when I came across this picture of a little baby by quite clearly had severe complex needs.

    ‘I thought to myself this little boy needs to join our family where he can be part of something special, but more importantly someone who can accept him and his disability.

    ‘I instantly fell in love with him what with his mass of brown hair and his beautiful blue eyes I knew instantly I wanted him to be by son.’

    Mr Carpenter explained how he instantly ‘fell in love’ with Noah when he first saw him and knew he needed to join his family

    Mr Carpenter has remained single since the young age of 21 and doesn’t plan on looking for a relationship any time soon with his dad duties being the most important thing to him.

    He added: ‘I have never sought a relationship, as I am happy on my own.

    ‘Whenever I have at times visualised myself in a relationship and each time I have it always leads to the same conclusion: that my children will always come first.

    ‘I would literally walk over hot coals to protect them and provide for them so it’s very easy decision.

    ‘Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.’

    This content was originally published here.

  • Texas City Council Votes To Ban All Abortions, Declares Itself A Sanctuary City For Fetuses

    Texas City Council Votes To Ban All Abortions, Declares Itself A Sanctuary City For Fetuses

    The city council of a small town in Texas voted unanimously on Tuesday to ban abortions within city limits.

    Waskom, Texas’s, five-member city council also voted to declare itself a “sanctuary city of the unborn.”

    The council members said they passed the ordinance to prevent abortion clinics from opening in the city, according to KTSA.


    There is currently no abortion provider within the city limits.

    The city’s mayor and attorney reportedly warned council members that the ordinance is unconstitutional.

    “Most likely we will end up getting sued if this passes,” Mayor Jesse Moore said, according to ArkLaTexHomepage.com. “It could go to the Supreme Court.”

    The Hill reports:

    The ordinance does include exceptions for rape, for incest or if the mother’s life is in danger. The city council, made up of five men, said it included the exceptions so the ordinance could challenge the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade decision, which gave women the right to an abortion.

    The ordinance was modeled after the city of Roswell, New Mexico, which had a resolution declaring it a “sanctuary city for the unborn.” Waskom’s ordinance goes further by banning abortions within its city limits, ArkLaTexHomepage.com reported.

    This content was originally published here.

  • Aisha Buhari rocks a $2,145 Oscar De LaRenta cape dress to Democracy Day gala night

    Aisha Buhari rocks a $2,145 Oscar De LaRenta cape dress to Democracy Day gala night

    Aisha Buhari rocks a $2,145 Oscar De LaRenta cape dress to Democracy Day gala night President Buhari on Tuesday night June 11th, hosted some world leaders as well as top Nigerian government functionaries, to a gala night to commemorate the celebration of June 12th Democracy day.

    One person who stole the show was his wife, Aisha Buhari, who stepped out in a Maple Leaf Embroidered Silk-Crepe Cape-Back Caftan by A-list designer, Oscar De LaRenta. The dress which used to go for $4,290 (1,544,400), is currently retailing for $2,145 which in Naira equivalent is N772,200.

    This content was originally published here.

  • 81-year-old robbery suspect wanted to return to prison

    81-year-old robbery suspect wanted to return to prison

    An 81-year-old man who has spent most of his adult life behind bars for stealing from banks said he robbed a credit union in Tucson months after his release from prison because his monthly $800 Social Security payment wasn’t enough to live on, according to court records. Robert Francis Krebs also told FBI agents that he didn’t wear a disguise to the January 2018 robbery because he “kind of wanted to get caught” and return to prison. Details of the heist were revealed in court records filed Friday over whether Krebs, who turns 82 next month, is mentally fit to stand trial. His lawyers say Krebs has reported having symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, and a neuropsychologist concluded Krebs wasn’t competent to stand trial because he has dementia. But two other mental health experts have said Krebs was competent and believed he was malingering, with one expert saying Krebs had “embellished or grossly exaggerated” his condition to avoid prosecution. It’s now up to a judge to decide whether Krebs will head toward trial.

    If found incompetent, Krebs could be sent to a facility in a bid to make him mentally fit. But if he can’t be restored to competency, his bank robbery charge could be dismissed, and he could be civilly committed, said Mike Black, a defense attorney in Phoenix who isn’t involved in the Krebs case. It’s rare that charges are dropped because a defendant was found incompetent, Black said. “They never release them,” Black said. In urging a judge to find Krebs competent, prosecutors said Krebs acknowledged to FBI agents that he carried out the robbery in Tucson because “$800 a month in Social Security is not very much to live on these days.” William J. Rehder, a retired FBI bank robbery expert who isn’t involved in Krebs’ case, said it’s not surprising that people who spent decades in prison were ill equipped to earn a living once they are released. Prison provides them with stability, he said. “They really can’t make it on the outside,” Rehder said. “He is right – Social Security is probably not enough to keep him going, and he has no prospects for income.”

    Krebs served more than 30 years in prison for a 1981 bank robbery in Florida and was sentenced to three years in prison a 1966 conviction in Chicago for embezzling $72,000 from a bank where he worked as a teller. He also did another 17 years in Arizona for theft and armed robbery convictions from Arizona dating back to 1980. In the Florida robbery, Krebs stole $8,300 from a bank near Longwood. The branch manager and teller had tripped a silent alarm and were later put in the bank vault, according to news accounts by The Orlando Sentinel. Krebs, who was arrested as he walked into the bank’s parking lot, was disguised in a wig, had cotton in his cheeks and varnished his fingertips to leave no fingerprints, according to the newspaper. He was released from prison in the summer of 2017, about six months before the robbery at Pyramid Federal Credit Union branch in a strip mall on Tucson’s northern edge. Authorities say Krebs walked into the bank, put a handgun that turned out to be a BB gun on the counter, and demanded cash.

    After walking away from the bank with nearly $8,400, Krebs told FBI agents he almost got struck by a vehicle while crossing a roadway, prosecutors said. He was later arrested at a hotel. Krebs, who has been jailed since his arrest 17 months ago, has pleaded not guilty to a bank robbery charge stemming from the Tucson heist. Krebs’ attorney Leonardo Costales, who didn’t return a call from The Associated Press seeking a comment on behalf of his client, said in court records that there’s not enough evidence to show his client is competent. Although Krebs claimed to have a cognitive impairment, prosecutors said he concluded the credit union was an easy target because there was no glass separating customers and tellers, and that he picked a lending institution located near a mall, where it would be harder for police to find him. Krebs is a rarity in the world of bank robbery, where it’s unusual for elderly people to hold up lending institutions. Typically, bank robbers are in their 20s, Rehder said. Krebs isn’t the oldest bank robbery suspect. J.L. Hunter “Red” Rountree, who has been dubbed America’s oldest bank robber, was convicted of committing robberies at banks during the late 1990s and early 2000s in Mississippi, Florida and Texas. Rountree, who later died in prison at age 92, committed two robberies in his mid-80s and was 91 at the time of his last heist.

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