Dear Adult Children, Your Parents Don’t Owe You Anything

I recently caught up with a girlfriend whom I hadn’t seen in a while. We engaged in our usual girlish chatter, which eventually gave way to our obligatory, “How are your parents?” question. Little did I know, that question would open the floodgates for complaints. My girl —who just like me, is knocking on 30s door— was in her feelings because her father had stopped paying her car note several months ago since he’s gearing up for retirement. I was stunned, not by the fact that her pops was still paying her car note, but by how ungrateful she sounded. Instead of being appreciative of her father for providing financial support that he definitely did not have to provide, she was dogging him because the gravy train was coming to an end. If your parents are still willing to pick up a bill for you, accept the help and be gracious about it. However, to act as if they’re somehow obligated to do so? Miss me with that.

I wish I could say that my girl’s attitude was unique, but it’s not. So many of my peers (and adult children in general) have a misguided sense of entitlement that is absolutely nauseating. I know a woman who will jump on Facebook in a heartbeat to sub her mom for not being available to babysit her kids. I know a man who is well over 40 who will badger his elderly mother for something nonstop until she caves from simply not wanting to deal with the stress of his presence anymore.

Here’s the reality: Our parents are getting older with each passing day. They will not be here forever. Instead of being a constant source of stress and drama, we should be the ones lightening the load for them. They have already done their jobs of raising us. It’s okay to ask for and accept help but to act as if we’re somehow owed something is dysfunctional and manipulative. It’s time to grow up.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @and visit her blog, Black Girl Mom.

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